MESSAGE TO FAMILY COURT
‘I am mute
from the pain and fear and the enforced silence. My mind is
no longer mine, it takes over and blocks the agony, helping me live and
I exist, I do not live.
He said he would hunt me down and kill me. He has succeeded. I am as
dead, but worse, I am still living with unbearable pain. The pain
returns throughout the day, always as intense. At night, I am tormented,
sleeping little, afraid to sleep, haunted.
My children stolen and given to the man I have tried to protect them
from, the courts help him continue his abuse…the silencing, the
denigration, bullying, twisting words and actions, gas lighting, telling
me I’m mad or lying, not believing my crying children begging to come
home to me, abusing them and cutting down my maternal instincts to
protect and love my children.
What type of people are you who cannot see you are puppets in the hands
of an abuser or at very least colluding with him in abuse of the
vulnerable … mothers who ran from the terrible abuse of a man and tried
to protect her children, struggling alone.
And we will be left changed, damaged, some may not survive, children
will live with this inner pain for the rest of their lives, mothers
living in darkness, crying, howling in despair, their children torn from
their hearts, part of them missing, worrying, worrying about what their
child is going through.
Shocked that this country allows this, why, why. How did it happen? We
have been labelled, thrown into a strange alternate universe where we
are judged, told we are someone we are not, abusers of our own children,
made up stories.
We cannot believe the madness of your beliefs, the excuses you will make
to tear children from their mother..why are you like this, what do you
gain? A wage at the end of the month? Power, twisted vengeance … did you
have an abusive childhood, are you sick yourself?
You are killing women and children, emotionally, mentally, physically…we
will not live as long as we were meant to and our lives will not be the
best they could have been because you have burdened our souls with
excruciating, deep, and terrible pain.
My children were sweet, gentle and harmless. They have changed, they are
troubled…. but no-one notices because they have learned to be silent,
to hide their feelings and get on with life as best they can.
I abandoned them.
You are responsible for this, inflicting pain, neglect, utter lack of
compassion or understanding, made up models and tactics, used to trap
mothers and children into silence. Nothing changed, men and powerful
women rule, mothers and children considered the lowest and weakest,
there to be bullied and squashed.
Society does not want to help women who are trapped in abuse, they don’t
understand why, how it happens, the clever baiting and trapping, the
threats, the pummelling of all self-worth, the fear, confusion, mind and
spirit barely existing.
And now, instead of support, you act as fellow abusers, you fail to
protect children and you break mothers, barristers relishing the win
with no thought, or even perception of the suffering they cause.
You believe you can get away with this horrific abuse of some of the
most vulnerable in society.
You are right, you can.