Mothers Unite UK

Domestic and child abuse in Family Court

Why ‘Parental Alienation’ should not be used as a term

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is the base theory used by family courts and was created to help abusers gain residence of their children. The term continues to be used as a means to deny domestic abuse and child abuse. PAS/PA has been a major tactic to remove residence from the healthy parent, then to give residence to the abusive parent in so-called 'high conflict' cases. When the abuser is a father, they are successful 99% of the time. PAS was developed by Richard Gardner who applied his pseudoscience to mothers who were victims of domestic abuse or/and who’s children were abused by the father. Their behaviour was taken as ‘symptoms’ of PA, rather than as being real signs of abuse.

PAS not a recognized mental health disorder or syndrome and  it is not recommended or endorsed by the British Psychological Society.  It is not recognized as a scientific, is not admissible in court, or a credible construct by legal or psychological experts yet many Judges believe in its existence and increasingly allow 'treatment'  often by unlicensed 'therapists'.  Such 'treatment' includes trying to brainwash children to believe there was never any abuse and that it was made up by the healthy parent.

Therefore, it is a dangerous term putting children at risk and causing trauma and irreversible damage to them, and their mother. Promotion of this theory should be discouraged.

It is also known by the term 'Implacably Hostile'. It is the same theory in 'legalese' language.

Suggested terms to use instead

When the child is reluctant or refuses to interact with the abuser, it is

Self-Estrangement or Self-Alienation caused by the abusive parents behaviour.

When the abuser withholds contact of the child and/or manipulates the child against the healthy parent, it is

Domestic/Abuse by Proxy or Proxy Abuse. They are continuing abuse by using the children usually after residence has been changed to the father by the courts after accusations of PAS.

Domestic Violence (DV) by Proxy:
Why Terrorist Tactics Employed by Batterers Are Not "PAS"

Control by Proxy

Flying monkeys is a phrase used in popular psychology mainly in the context of narcissistic abuse. They are people who act on behalf of a narcissist to a third party, usually for an abusive purpose.

The phrase has also been used to refer to people who act on behalf of a psychopath for a similar purpose.

Flying monkeys are distinct from enablers. Enablers just allow or cover for the narcissist's (abuser's) own bad behavior.

Flying monkeys can be anyone who believes the narcissist's fake persona including the narcissist's spouse, child, friend, sibling, parents.

Flying monkeys are usually unwittingly manipulated people who believe the smears about the victim although they may be another narcissist working with them or using each other. They can be associates of the abuser or victim and can be authority and institutional figures manipulated to side with the abuser, or siding as abusive personalities themselves.